Sunday Photo Fiction: Rolling Stoners – Ep. 8

44 01 January 26th 2014

 

The pachycephalosaurs thumped along the bridge above a burbling mini-waterfall. Rick watched as an unconscious Terry inched closer to sliding off the dinosaur with every jostle. “Just a bit more.”

The knights reined their mounts back at another knight’s appearance. Terry hit the ground with a thud. “Don’t leave, Miley! I’ll twerk with you!” Terry cried. His ass gyrated on the stone.

“What does that mean?” Gabby asked.

He sighed and hopped down. “It means he’s an idiot.” He strode over and patted Terry’s face. “Wake up.”

Terry reached up and pulled Rick closer to puckered lips. Rick slapped him…hard. “Dude!”

Terry’s fist shot out and Rick collapsed, holding his just-punched junk. “AAAAHHHH! Dick!”

Terry rolled over on top of Rick, punches rising and falling. “Why’d you slap me, asshole?”

Rick flailed back and the two scuffled around the bridge. A whirring sound rose above the noise of the brouhaha as the new knight stomped over. He reached them as Terry rolled into a pile of dinosaur dung.

Strong hands separated the two. “A cyborg?” Rick said.

“Hey, is your dong metal?” Terry asked.

The cyborg threw Terry over the bridge. “Ha! Than-”

Rick flew into the water after his friend.

Word Count: 200

Sunday Photo Fiction

 

Sunday Photo Fiction Time! Every week Al posts a photo and every week I try to advance Rolling Stoners by shoe-horning it into the story somehow. It’s been working…so far (and depending on your definition of ‘working’). Head on over and join in the fun!

Hope you enjoy.

Happy Reading and Writing!

J. Milburn

 

 

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Sunday Photo Fiction: Greetings

Sea King Rescue Helicopter and Lifeboat at a Coastal Display July 2011

Sea King Rescue Helicopter and Lifeboat at a Coastal Display July 2011

Rick pushed his way through the thick under-foliage, the strange colors of the plants now wearily familiar. Quarter-remembered Boy Scout lessons about direction thrust the guide position on him as he and Terry searched for the city seen from the tower. Terry walked silently, his normal complaints absent. Rick hoped it would stay that way.

“Heh. Remember that time the Coast Guard had to rescue you, dumbass?”

Rick sighed. “That was you, Terry. You saw those girls nude-sunbathing and decided to stand up in the boat…without your suit on.”

Terry chuckled. “Good times.”

“I’m sure that nice blue-haired grandma walking with her grandkids along the beach thought so. Along with everyone else that saw your bare-ass when the chopper pulled you up.”

“What can I say, I’m a giver.”

Rick sighed again and turned to unload. “Those kids crie-”

A thick maned lion-man, nude except for weapon straps, appeared, stopping him short. Terry whirled around. “I got this, dude.” He stepped forward, holding his fingers in a V-shape. “Take me to your leader.”

The lion-man pulled a sleek-looking gun and red light buzzed out, engulfing the two boys. Lion-schlong. Why does my life suck so hard? Rick thought as darkness engulfed him.

Word Count: 200

Sunday Photo Fiction

Will our heroes survive? Why does everyone seem to be naked? Can I keep shoehorning totally unrelated pictures into the story? Stay tuned to “Rolling Stoners” on its new home: Sunday Photo Fiction! Every week, the shadowy over-lord, known simply as “Al,” posts a photo to lash his minions into creating works he collates and stores to use in his nefarious plans to take over the world!

Head on over and join the fun! I’m sure Al will bequeath you a sizeable land grant as he establishes his dark reign!

Hope you enjoy.

Happy Reading and Writing!

J. Milburn

Write Now Prompt: My Anti-Resolutions

WriteNow! Prompt

I’m loving this week’s prompt from WriteNow! The prompt is:

Your 10 Anti-Resolutions:

  1. List ten things you resolve NOT to do in the upcoming year.
  2. Be as creative as possible.

So here are my 10:

10. I resolve to not take a petition for the banning of Dihydrogen monoxide to an eco-rally to prove that they will sign anything if they think it’s against “the man” (even though I guarantee I can still fill page after page).

9. I resolve not to inadvertently call 911 when engaged in any criminal activity, or just drunk off my keister.

8. I resolve to not have a mid-life crisis and live out my childhood fantasy of ramping the General Lee over a river, pond, creek, or any body of water, up to and including puddles.

7. In that same vein, I also resolve to not buy an overweight basset hound, name him Flash, legally file to change my name, and run around referring to myself in the third person as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane, trying to capture myself while in “hot pursuit”.

6. I resolve to not slap anyone while they are sleeping with a fish or any other non-pork product.

5. I resolve not to expose various small (or large) animals to radiation in hopes that a bite will somehow give me superpowers (or rabies…most likely rabies).

4. I also resolve to not flush any baby alligators or crocodiles down the toilet just to prove all the naysayers about giant alligators in the sewers wrong.

3. I resolve to not go around pile-driving various politicians for acting like idiots with a stunning lack of a sense of irony. DDT…maybe.

2. I resolve to not do anymore anti-resolution lists because these are more difficult to come up with than I thought they would be.

1. I resolve to not welcome our new Chthonic Over-Lords without giving everyone a heads-up first.

***

Hope you enjoy.

Happy Reading and Writing!

J. Milburn

Velvet Verbosity 100 Words #359 – Catapult: There’s More Than One

“You’re an idiot.”

Harold cranked the windlass, lowering the cross-bar. “I’ve calculated the power and distance capable by this catapult correctly.”

Jerry squinted at the high fall air bag wavering in the distance. “I still don’t think you should try this.”

Harold climbed on the flat end of the lowered bar. “Just be ready to release when I tell you.”

“Ready?” Jerry nodded. “Fire!”

Jerry pushed the bar, the stored tension snapping the crossbar upward. Harold flew through the air, screaming until hitting the ground in front of the safety bag.

“You studied trebuchets, but this is an onager, idiot.”

my-little-princess-01

photo found: tvfantasy.net

For Velvet Verbosity’s 100 Words #359: Catapult. I went the obvious route with a little bit of humor. Hope you enjoy.

Join in the fun with your own 100 word story using the prompt word!

Happy Reading and Writing!

J. Milburn

 

Trifextra Week 98: Someone’s Getting Coal

photo by Kriskaer on Flickr

Teddy couldn’t wait for Christmas day,

so sister helped him steal Santa’s sleigh.

Teddy could not fly it,

and the world threw a fit,

when the presents went to Paraguay!

Trifextra time! In the new format, the crew over at Trifecta alternate the challenge each week. This week is the 33-word Trifextra prompt. The prompt: Charles Dickens, in A Christmas Carol, wrote “There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.” We are giving you exactly 33 words to make us laugh out loud and spread some festive cheer. 

I decided to try yet another new poetry form this week, the limerick. Hope you enjoy.

Head on over to Trifecta and read some great writers take on the prompt. Feel free to join in the fun!

Happy Reading and Writing!

J. Milburn