Holiday stories? I thought about passing this one by as I’m not one for reminiscing too much. Top it off with a decided lack of stand-out memories (aside from those I’d like to forget), and I almost decided not to participate this week. But there is one memory that stands out, and I’m going to put it down.
By the way, if I suddenly stop posting…forever, it’s because my wife has, for some reason, started reading my blog and has straight-up murdered me for this 😉
As you might guess from the photo, I was in the Navy and this story has to do with my time at boot camp. I left home, freshly married for a month and a couple of weeks before my birthday, for Great Lakes in Chicago. I was fortunate enough to be placed in a 900 division, which includes the band, choir, and color guard. Fortunately, I didn’t make the color guard, although at the time it felt like a loss.
There is nothing like watching shipmates come in showered with sweat and utterly exhausted while we’ve been chilling in the barracks to change one’s mind.
The month’s passed quickly, although I’m sure I didn’t think that way at the time. Marching, classes, PT, bunk drills, watches (hint: have crappy handwriting so you don’t get stuck with it all the time), team-building, and the random punishment push-ups filled up the days.
Thanksgiving came, and our class just made the cut-off for being “adopted” by a local family for the day. The information came a little late to do me any damn good, but some people managed to find locals to take them in, and good for them. I wasn’t quite ready to break routine yet.
We finished our training with an all-nighter, the kind where you have about 5 minutes to dress in all your gear and they come and chivvy you off to different obstacles based on all you’ve learned. Gas masks suck when you have glasses, by the by.
We finished a few days before Christmas, and we learned that we weren’t being released until after the holiday. So we watch some movies. First and only time I’ve ever seen Reservoir Dogs. I know there are Tarantino fans out there, but I’ve never been able to get into his work; however, that is the only movie I remember from that time, so there’s that.
Christmas Eve we get the news: If we make the plans, we can be “adopted” and go off-base. A mad scramble ensues, and I march off with phone-card in hand. I call home and tell my parents they can come up to take me off-base. My parents (who are great) and my wife (also great. Love you, sweetie!) drive all night and get me Christmas morning.
We hit Chicago for supper and head back to the hotel room. One room, two beds. My folks are exhausted and fall asleep. My wife and I, being young and having missed each other, do what couples do, because my parents are heavy sleepers and we’re extra-quiet.
I return to base the next day, and graduate two days later having had a great Christmas.
Those proceeding sentences probably lay out the road-map for where I’m going.
Several years later, we’re sitting around a fire in my parents backyard, roasting hot dogs and marshmallows for S’mores. The subject comes up about that Christmas.
“You know, I wasn’t actually asleep, and I heard everything,” my Dad says.
My wife turns beet-red. “Oh my God, you heard us?”
Somewhere along the line in my Naval service, my give-a-damn for those sorts of things broke and I’ve never bothered to fix it, so I just laugh. “Thanks for not turning around then, Pops.”
So there you have it. My long explanation just to tell you I unknowingly had sex in front of a live studio audience comprised of my Dad. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to disable the Publicize settings so this doesn’t show up on Facebook for the rest of my family (including my wife) to see 😀
Happy Reading and Writing!