Friday Fictioneers: Pain of the Gods

The little girl sat on the steps, tears flowing down her cherubic cheeks. People passed by, most not even sparing a glance at the scene, too caught up in their own dramas to waste time on someone else’s.

Most, except for one man. He knelt by the child and whispered, “Emily?”

Emily nodded and the man smiled. “Your mother sent me to take you home. She’s worried sick about you.” He held out his hand with a reassuring grin. “Come on. We’ll stop for ice cream on the way.”

Emily’s tiny hand clasped his.

The Gods looked on in anger.

Copyright-Al Forbes

picture copyright: Al Forbes

Word Count: 100

Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The challenge: use 100 words to tell a story based on a photo prompt provided. Everyone is welcome and many great writers take part. Even if you don’t enter, it is well worth the time to read through the entries. Click the link or the button below to head over to Rochelle’s site.

 

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18 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: Pain of the Gods

  1. so much emotion in this story…sad,heartbreaking and terrifying and unfortunately,very real.

  2. Thwarting the will of the gods! Excellent! They didn’t bet on there being a righteous person left in that city, I think.

  3. Oh,this is terrific!It can go in so many directions-none seemingly good though-wish Gods did more than look on in anger when such evil men walk the earth!

  4. This sends chills down my spine. I like how you leave a tiny flicker of hope for those of us desperate to pretend everything will be fine.

  5. Oh! So many red flags (that a child would not see.) If only she could resist the allure of ice cream.

  6. Great twist, though sad statement about our society…

  7. You expertly crafted this so it could be taken both ways… well done.

  8. Dear Jeremy,

    Sandra is right to praise you. Good job and I wish she would quit stealing my thunder. Great title and last line.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  9. Dear Jeremy,

    A lot of ways to read this piece. It would seem at first that the man was sent by her mother…but was he? And why were the god’s angry? Nice one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  10. Don’t take ice cream (or candy) from strangers. He made me angry and I’m not even a God. A very well structured piece, Jeremy. Strong writing here.

  11. I’ve gone the dark route on the ending for this one. Very sinister.

  12. Oh dear. Perhaps I’m too cynical, but unlike Sandra I see only chilling darkness here… and my daughter’s name is Emily. The fact that it rattles us, is a reflection of good writing. Well done!

  13. Discrete, horrifying & elegant truth! I’m glad you spun away from the Hermes trap that I couldn’t avoid myself to the Gods’ generalization to get there, congrats, Tay.

  14. Yes, a very twisted story. We immediately expect the worst – and he could be perfectly innocent, but the Gods looking down in anger is the tip-off.

  15. This story runs so many ways. I’m not sure who’s in the right and who’s in the wrong but I’m left feeling it doesn’t end well. The opening scene is most disturbing.

  16. That last line made me sick to my stomach.

  17. It took me down the dark route as well, chillingly good job 🙂

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