Trifecta #101-The Horror…The…Horror

“You don’t really expect me to sit through all of this, do you?”

My mom grins and waggles her eyebrows. “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.”

Lord, save me from moms who think they’re funny. On stage, six-year-old girls prance about, make-up caked on like I imagine a low-rent hooker would have hers and dressed much the same. I lean over closer to Mom; Dad’s giving me the stink-eye for talking so loud. “You know pedophiles are all over this like a fat kid on cake, right?”

“Jared, just sit and watch. Your sister likes doing these pageants.”

I look around. Most of the auditorium chairs sit empty, except for helicopter moms living vicariously through their little girls and a few suspicious guys in trench-coats. “I’m going to boo.”

Dad grabs my arm and squeezes. Hard. “Do, and learn a brand-new definition of pain. Quit being selfish and support your sister.”

I sit back and pout through the rest of the disgusting display. Some living doll, replete with plastic skin and Vaseline smile, wins. Sis comes in fifth. I hope the loss means no more of these “beauty” pageants, but I know it means Mom will just go crazier.

Sis and I sit in the car, quiet as Mom critiques her performance. I try to tune out, but the words “a little more butt when you dance” pierce the veil. I try not to gag.

We get home and Sis goes upstairs. Dad heads into the kitchen and Mom looks at me. “You know, I don’t think she can win.”

“Wonderful, we can stop this crap then.”

Mom’s eyes take on a manic gleam. “Oh, no.” She grabs my chin. “You have such fine bone structure. You could win.”

Dad comes out with a butcher knife in his hand. “Now you just need to be a girl.” Mom grabs me and the knife descends.

I bolt upright, sweating hard. No more burritos smothered in cheese and ranch during Toddlers & Tiaras.

Word Count: 333

Trifecta time! This weeks prompt: 33 to 333 words and only one them of needs to be-


1 (interjection)
used to express contempt or disapproval or to startle or frighten2 (noun)
a sound that people make to show they do not like or approve of someone or something

3 (verb) to show dislike or disapproval of someone or something by shouting “Boo” slowly

– See more at:

Use the third definition, which is the verb form of boo. Head on over to read some interesting stories by some great writers. Enter your own and join the fun!

Happy Reading and Writing!

J. Milburn

8 thoughts on “Trifecta #101-The Horror…The…Horror

  1. Dare I say brilliant? Well, I just did. Well done!

  2. You had me! Love the banter between father and son during the pageant.

  3. Brilliant voice in this and what a chuckle at the end. Great stuff! Thanks for linking up!

  4. Hahaha
    Love the brand-new definition of pain.

  5. Hilarious with dollops of truth!Excellent fare!Thankfully it was just a bad dream;-)

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